“True evil is above all things seductive. When the decil knocks at your door he doesn’t have cloven hooves. He is beautiful. Offers your heart’s desires in whispered airs like a siren beckoning you to her.” – Episode 9 of Penny Dreadful on Showtime
Tomorrow I start going to therapy. I went to therapy three times when I was sixteen, but it was a half an hour drive one way to the therapists office and my parents couldn’t afford it when they raised their rates.
I enjoyed therapy when I went because at that age I was a loner who struggled with depression, self-inflicting pain and suicidal thoughts. It was nice to talk to someone who seemed to understand what I was going through.
Now ten years later I am a loner who struggles with depression, resists the urges (sometimes) to inflict pain on myself, and no longer have suicidal thoughts because I don’t want to deprive my daughter of having a mother. How things change in a decade, haha.
The one thing I worry about is that it seems once you start going to therapy you either never stop going or they push pills on you. I know someone who went to therapy twice and got anti-depression pills right away. After she stopped going she got a new boyfriend and stopped taking her pills. To me it seems that she just needed a new positive outlook on life.
But she is the only person I know who has gone to therapy and the rest I have derived from TV shows, movies and books. You know how it is in popular media. Usually the character going to therapy says they have been seeing their therapist for years and yet they still have a bunch of problems in their life. Is this the fault of the therapist or a case of the patient not actually wanting to change themselves for the better?
For me I want to change for the better as scared as I am to face my own demons and talk about things from my past that I prefer to keep under lock and key. I want to be the best person I can be for myself and for my daughter.
So, readers, feel free to comment your opinions and experiences with therapy. Thank you for reading!